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I died. Now I live.

I can see you now.
Clearer than glass.
Faster than light.
I can feel your magic.

I can see your rainbows,
Separate each colour,
Only to find illusions,
Fake beauty.

I bent my knee,
Gave you my crown,
My weeping heart,
Made you my world.

You spit on my face,
Devil I am,
With a halo on my head,
Horns on your face.

I can smell you,
Sweet perfume,
Smell a little longer,
I smell fear.

Now I see.
I gave.
You took.
Then expected more.

Bitter sweet love

We have fought for so long,
My broken bones cant let me stand,
My demons are rejoicing,
The big victory over my conscience.

My scars are infected,
The last breath of a dying man,
My tears are useless,
Heaven has closed it’s gates for me.

My eyes are shutting,
I’m ready for hell,
Time to fall on my sword,
And end this journey.

‘Open your eyes’
I hear a whisper,
Just before my surrender,
I look around me.

The love of my life,
All drenched in blood,
A spear through her heart,
She’s on her knees.

Where did I get lost?
What have I done?
When did the skies turn grey?
When did I kill myself?

I will crawl my way to you,
Carry my broken bones,
I will heal you,
Your smile is my only hope.

Let me wipe your tears,
Clean your wounds,
You deserve the heavens,
The war is over.

Once your light is shining,
I will take my leave,
I will carry the happiness,
Of this bitter sweet love.

Mark my words

I know you’re tired,
I feel the same way,
I know you’re suffocated,
I cant breathe too.

I want to be free,
But your freedom is mine,
Your happiness is my peace,
Your sadness is my pain.

Met you as free as a caged bird,
Unaware of what lies ahead,
Curious about life,
Seeking nothing but the best.

I cared like a father to a daughter,
Wiped your tears,
Held your hand,
Showed you the way out.

Like a prisoner’s final day in a cage,
You packed your bags,
Grabbed my hand,
And took the way out.

My pride, My precious,
You wore a rainbow dress,
Danced under the stars,
Lived in a care free world.

You showed me, a sad man, true happiness,
You showed me the outside world,
My freedom,
That I never saw before.

You took my heart,
Polished it,
Breathed life into it,
So I can be as free as you.

I opened my eyes,
Saw the happiness of breath,
The sadness of breathing too much,
I saw the world.

I fell in love,
Feared losing you to a cage,
Loneliness and despair,
Too much freedom.

We’ve built two worlds,
Different principles,
Different views,
Both seeking eternal happiness.

Invite me to your world,
As I invite you to mine,
Let’s build a third world,
For you and I.

Beautiful devil

Please don’t kill me,
If God has it I die,
May his will be done,
Though not by your hands,
Not your beautiful hands.

Beautiful devil,
No one says I can’t love you,
Sinners need love,
Let me wash your wounds,
As you lay your hands on mine.

Look at me,
Straight to my eyes,
Point your gun at me,
Whisper I love you,
Maybe this is peace.

Tell me you can’t live without me,
How ugly I am,
But you’ll never want better,
Make me feel loved,
By a devil.

Esther

Yes you, Esther,
Ever heard an article,
Titled your name?
No?
Here’s one.
Put some good music,
and enjoy.

I still remember the day,
I sat next to you,
Do I regret?
No I don’t.
I remember when we first talked,
You laughing,
Music playing…

You smiling,
That smile,
Has killed many men?
Right?
So much to remember,
But darling,
Nothing to regret.

Who is Esther?
Lovable, pretty,
Cheerful, innocent,
Young heart.
Will I forget you?
I doubt it,
You’re tattooed on me.

Oh Esther, my Esther,
You’re caged,
I’ll pray,
For your happiness, your freedom,
For you,
To feel,
To love….

When that day comes,
Dress in white,
Take a leave,
Visit the coast,
Raise your hands,
and let the wind,
make you fly.

Esther,
I appreciate you.

My Love

This feeling,
So familiar,
Now I remember,
This eerie feeling,
I forgot how it felt,
I forgot how to love,
So this is love?

My world revolves around her,
I still smell her on my pillow,
I see her face,
everytime I close my eyes,
She’s smiling,
She’s happy,
She’s beautiful.

This love,
I love so much,
It’s dangerous,
I adore,
This love,
Can change worlds,
Can kill me.

This love,
I have no one to give,
One beautiful day,
Sunny with a cold breeze,
I will wake up,
Next to the lucky girl,
That will receive my love.

For My Therapist

I still remember,
The first day I met you,
How nervous I was,
A very confused and sad man,
Seeking just a pinch of happiness.

I wasn’t sure,
That therapy works,
I just craved help,
Anything I could get,
But now, I believe.

Because of you,
I have experienced happiness,
I have danced,
I have sung,
I have lived.

It may not seem like it,
But you have saved a life,
When I meet you,
I feel the comfort of a mother,
I feel safe.

I’m still fighting,
Many times I lose,
I’m still scared,
Of the future and myself,
Thank you,
For fighting for me.